A Relationship Reboot Practice

Our relationships have the potential to be one of the greatest catalysts for our growth and evolution. Our partners, families, and friends can serve as a mirror for our own inner work, allowing us to raise our consciousness and becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Yet, relationships when done unconsciously can also create a huge compromise of Self in order to serve the other, or the relationship. This can create an almost parasitic effect in our energy field that leaves us feeling drained, resentful, and like we no longer know who we are. This is the framework of a toxic relationship.

For women, this is particularly true. We’ve been taught and trained since day one, for the most part, to give up ourselves for others, to step into the role of caregiver, to be passive and to hold no boundaries for our own space. It is said in yogic tantra that it takes women about 7 years clear our energetic field of previous male partners or relationships. This can be extremely draining for our energy field and keep us from reaching a powerful, unobstructed relationship with our Self.

Fortunately, there is a powerful exercise that can speed up the process of clearing our field or past partners or present toxic relationships. This empowers us to reclaim our own energetic space. This space, which I will call your energy bubble, should really only carry your energy in it. It shouldn’t carry the energy of your partners, or past lovers, or parents, your work, your children (with exception to their first few years of their life), etc. This space should simply be for you. The problem is that we are all walking around with so many other people and entities in our energy bubble, that we begin to lose touch with ourselves.

Because of that, this practice can be a profound tool for almost everyone, and is especially powerful for those of you who are healing from a breakup or divorce, going through relationship changes or challenges, integrating past childhood trauma, or who have social anxiety.

Begin by simply sensing into your energy field. Build a bubble of space around you. Try a few minutes of root breathing, where you draw energy up from the earth into your pelvic bowl with every inhale and release energy down and back into the earth with every exhale.

If you work with any guides or allies in your healing work, you could call in those helpful and supportive energies to hold space for your process.

Bring one person to mind that you would like to work with in this exercise, someone you feel you have allowed to invade your personal bubble. Feel and sense where they are in your bubble of space. See them, feel them, and repeat their name internally to call their energy to the surface of your consciousness.

Once you feel that this person’s energy is present with you, take a few breaths. In your mind, guide this person out of your bubble and into their own bubble of space (near or far away). Visualize them in their own energy bubble, while you fully inhabit yours. 

In your mind or out loud, repeat the following words several times:

Name of the person, I ask that you return all that is mine back to me, purified, complete and whole.”

“And I return back to you all that is yours, purified, complete and whole.”

Visualize this transaction taking place. Feel all of your energy returning back to you and filling your bubble of space. Sense anything that is theirs returning to them and filling their bubble. Take your time here.

Between the two of you, you might imagine a cord of energy connecting your bubbles. This cord is symbolic of your relationship. You get to choose what passes through the cord, what you wish to share and communicate with one another.

Next, repeat the following words several times:

God/divine mother/whatever higher power you connect with, pass your flaming sword between us and let this transaction be complete.

Imagine a sword passing through the cord to complete the exchange. If you’d like to sustain relationship with this individual, you could imagine a new cord being rebuilt. If you prefer no relationship or connection with the individual, you can allow the cord to fall away.

Thank your guides and higher power for their support in this process. Come back to feeling your bubble around you, and to several cycles or minutes of root breathing. When you’re ready, open your eyes. Repeat with as many people as you’d like.

It’s not uncommon after this practice for the person you are working with to reach out to you. The relationship may be rebuilt on higher ground or may fall apart. There may be a period of grief or loneliness that follows. Know that this is normal, and do your best to maintain your new space. If it ever gets to be too much, seek support from a good counsellor or coach.

Feel your bubble throughout the day - when you’re driving, at the grocery store, talking to friends, etc. Try your best to stay with it and strengthen into your ability to be in your own field and with your own Self.


Please share your balancing experiences below and if you found this article beneficial, please spread the love and share it with your friends!

Download the 7-Step Guide to a Calm and Clear Mind to learn more.

Relationship Rebook Socials.png